I`m feeling kinda wierd today..i have this feeling that whoever i made friends with, they will avoid me days, months or years........ Why must that happen to me? All i did was to be myself, only to realised i`ve been spurned.... have anyone actually considered my feelings? I wanna change my bad habits, but people should understand that i aint a person who would change my views about something, nor i am easily changed...i need time, not months but years, it takes years to nurture one`s thinking, one`s character, one`s ideas.....even one`s appearance, it doesnt take an overnight change, a leopard do change its spots, only that it cannot be seen easily, just like a person`s character, when they tried hard to change, only to be detered by people around them, they just lost hope altogether.

People ask me to get a steady girlfriend, but I think i`m ugly, has anyone i`m in love with ever showed care to me? its a NO....i dunno whether will i really get to be united with my soulmate...i think i should go overseas to chill, i love going overseas, i can leave my troubles behind and enjoy life like its starting over again...i wish...no i want to live in a place where my troubles actually doesnt co-exist with my life.....will that be possible...i have questioned myself....i wanna surface in a world where love r an a freedom of expression, i dun wanna it to disappear...but sometimes i just wanna kill everyone who had been loved in a sense, the sensous kind, the ever-lasting kind, the magickal kind.....yup my macabre self wanna surface to the world, to kill everyone who prevented love for me and anyone who has been loved....then my sadness would be resolved..... okz...peace out......