Hmm....sorrie...for that loonnggggggg break, i noe i noe, my blog looks deserted, though i`ve updated last Tuesday...lol... Anyway, I dun noe whether my passion for breaking had stop long ago or that i had hidden from my mind, i dunnoe wats happening, anyone willing to show me the ropes again? i promise i will attend sessions....anyone, please guide me back to the passion i once had a year ago!! Please help, thanks!

Anyway, had dinner about 2 hours before i wrote this blog with my Uncle and they r kinda funny, i guess the British sense of humour had never been destroyed....lol.... sleepy now...gtg now, cya folks, til we meet again! lol!

confusions of the third kind Kinda bored..nothing to do, anyway, today is my mum`s birthday, gonna chill and have fun at the chalet.....adios amigoes

confusions of the third kind Kinda bored..nothing to do, anyway, today is my mum`s birthday, gonna chill and have fun at the chalet.....adios amigoes

Hey, erm sorrie...... i`m gonna summarise what i`ve been doin these past days....

6/9/04:
I took my Chinese N levels Written and Listening exams...hmmm...Hope i pass! must pass!!

7/9/04:
Combined Humanities - Social Studies...... Phew! luckily i studied one of the chapters that came out, and i mean only one came out!!! Phew! Hmm...Went to meet Leon, looking at every designer labels in Orchard road for men....lol...then to Borders in Wheelock Place.. Bought a magazine there, its about the current going-ons of the Egyptology world, its an excellent magazine. After that, we walk over to Kinokuniya to look for more books!!! I actually loved the books i saw there. A variety of books to choose from, we then settled in an area to read books, i met another friend there, we talk til about 9plus...Leon and I then proceed to HMV to look at the CDs. After that, we took the MRT and went our separate ways back home.....

9/9/04:
Discussed with mum and pop over going to Australia to study, my parents agreed!! Yay!!!

16/09/2004 - Which is today!
After my duty in the E-Shop, me and pops went to the Regional Education Language Centre. Upon reaching the place, we went to register for the IELTS, but the kind receptionist advised me to seek the councellors, we waited for some time. The councellor told me about all the options i can use to attend university in Australia. After the whole session, we decided i shouldnt go Australia next year. I almost cried to death about the decision. Never mind, anyway, i have decided i should STUDY HARD for my N levels and then my O levels, proceed to National Service, Foundation in University for a year then proceed to Full-time University Student! This plan will take me three years to get to University. Yes, I shall strive HARD and make sure I got into the University of my dreams. (UNSW) Advice: JACK STUDY HARD AND SMART, SHOW THE WORLD OF YOUR CALIBRE AND GIVE ALL YOU HAVE!

I`m feeling kinda wierd today..i have this feeling that whoever i made friends with, they will avoid me days, months or years........ Why must that happen to me? All i did was to be myself, only to realised i`ve been spurned.... have anyone actually considered my feelings? I wanna change my bad habits, but people should understand that i aint a person who would change my views about something, nor i am easily changed...i need time, not months but years, it takes years to nurture one`s thinking, one`s character, one`s ideas.....even one`s appearance, it doesnt take an overnight change, a leopard do change its spots, only that it cannot be seen easily, just like a person`s character, when they tried hard to change, only to be detered by people around them, they just lost hope altogether.

People ask me to get a steady girlfriend, but I think i`m ugly, has anyone i`m in love with ever showed care to me? its a NO....i dunno whether will i really get to be united with my soulmate...i think i should go overseas to chill, i love going overseas, i can leave my troubles behind and enjoy life like its starting over again...i wish...no i want to live in a place where my troubles actually doesnt co-exist with my life.....will that be possible...i have questioned myself....i wanna surface in a world where love r an a freedom of expression, i dun wanna it to disappear...but sometimes i just wanna kill everyone who had been loved in a sense, the sensous kind, the ever-lasting kind, the magickal kind.....yup my macabre self wanna surface to the world, to kill everyone who prevented love for me and anyone who has been loved....then my sadness would be resolved..... okz...peace out......

kkk, gotta admit, i did not really put my heart and soul into watever i have been doing, i do wish i have a goal to push myself, but i just dun have the heart to really study the subjects required. Sometimes i wonder why am i have such an attitude towards things, especially major exams, perhaps of my laziness, yet it could be my gullibility.... I love trying new things, especially things that had nothing to do with the world today, social norms and stuff people considered normal, i wanna be extraordinary and special, not to my friends but to myself. I wanna be true to myself, but the confusions kept coming to me!! Wat am i to do, stay and allow it to swallow me, or fight back and emerge victorious? i would rather choose the latter, coz life is indeed an experience and hurdle before we can pass to the next level! Trust is the word that i avoid, i would like to trust people wholeheartedly, but unluckily i can`t, its coz of the environment and the way that i was being treated... when i feel threatened, i retreat to a secluded place, unbeknown to the outside situation, my heart is protected by steel, but i left one part out, why? i don`t know, but maybe just one day i can figure it out, its a puzzle indeed! (To those reading this, i ain`t schizophrenic. Thank You!)

Now now, the NDP preview was way too exciting to talk about, but never did I ever experienced such dullness in some of its programs. Yaya, people saying its just a free ticket, what more should i expect anyway? Ye can say that again, but i dun mind! Okz, anyway, the preview was on 31 July 2004, which was two days ago....It started with a bid to heighten the energy of the crowd and i was kinda excited about the show, the part showing the army welcoming the president amd the MPs, but all i saw was some soldiers holding a sign indicating he is an MP, i was laughing away because of that, after that, the Total Defence display, it was kinda cool, and very good indeed. Here comes the Wings to Soar, now thats what i call appreciating the Arts, my cousin was in it...anyway, it was cool, then the time for the mixture of NPCC and NCC performing some kinda martial arts, displaying thier guts and furor withj the highest of spirits, but, unfortunately, some of them got the wrong colour, what a shame, lol, some singing segment with Lin Jun Jie, then Kit Chan with her original version of "Home", Ju Jie was singing it like a rock 'n' roll song, lol, the time for the balls to roll down came, and this time, it showed the very true colours of the motivators, they aren`t what they r supposed to do, but instead dampened our mood by selfishly rolling the balls down themselves, how typically f***** up can they be, freaks! My mom didn`t even had the chance to touch the balls!! Well, the part where they show this year`s theme, A Progressive Society, first up with a group of people dancing, apparently multi-racial, then a whole cohort of our National flower and some other flowers, they light up beautifully with the dark sky, then the fire-works display, i was indeed beautiful....the whole celebration ended with a sing-a-long session.....Ahh, tiring day.... Now, to check the goodies inside our bags, wow, there r much more items than last years! The bags r bigger, everything tantamounts to a BIG Storeroom of goodies!! Anyway, time to say Ja Ne, gonna sleep, cya volks!!

Bored!!!! Haven`t been breaking for a longggggg time! cant stand my laziness, must counter it, sometimes i can, yet sometimes i can`t, i know it takes motivation and persuasion of oneself, but it is according to my mood, what i wanna do and when i wanna do. Juxtapose my old self and my current self, i realised the big changes i`ve gone through, all so unexpectable, yet so fast! I really need to try and understand the universe and its workings, the mysteries of my religion, the history of it, actually it almost died out tho....Anyway, gotta go get my custom-made shirt, go for my capoeira class, then meet my friend, nah, today aint breaking, hasn`t been breaking for like 2 weeks, at first stop for a month, then continue, then stop for two weeks again, i dunno whether if my bboying spirit is dying out or not, but i hope not! I wanna try my best in bboying, i guess after the block tests then i shall go, okz....Gotta sign off now, cya all folks!

hhmmm.....wat to type? So many days but no event interestin to type about, tho my interest in Psychology, Sociology, Egyptology and the Norse mysteries have been growing!!! Gothic lolita tea party coming! wat to wear then? erm...i`d wear thos gentleman outfits with some punk and gothic elements? hows that? suggestions in tagboard please! Arigato! Ja Ne!

G&LB4 

Yesterday was a very fun day, coz me and my friends went to [Cosfest 2004]!!! It was a very enjoyable and wonderful day as my friends prepare to make me up for the event, I cosplay as an original goth jrocker(got the shock of my life!)!! There r practically hundreds of people and they were looking at us as if we r curios or something, and alot of cameras aiming at us and some people ask us to pose..lol..really fun tho, I bought some One Piece items from a stall..i saw lotsa Yunas and Rikkus!! lol! Never believe there actually r people in Singapore interested in Gothic Lolita, all dressed up so nicely, so petite, and two Manas!! lol, my friend was like wanting to take pictures with `em..! lol!!! After the event ended, we waited for awhile and went out with some of the gothic lolitas and cosplayers, we had had a wild time, first goin to Mcdonalds for dinner, then walkin around getting to know each other! we then headed to The Heeren, where we went to take Neoprints! Haichizu!! the photos turned out great! after that we all headed home...**yawn** really tired...zzzZZZZ......

Today was a REALLY boring day, but later gonna watch Spiderman 2!!YEAH!!!!

Arrgghh!!!!!! When i look at i my past blogs i realised how time flies when ye aint looking, and now is June 22!! I`m shocked, coz i thought yesterday`s June 9!! Lolx, Anyway, June holidays is a waste, coz i hasnt been doing anything, not even revision, what a waste of TIME!! Haizz....anyway, the 'N' levels` coming...argghh!! stressed, i wished i aint studying in Singapore, coz the educational system here have so many loop-holes i`m falling thru it everytime, I felt its a waste of time when yer selection of subjects to learn are so limited, waste of resources too! anyway. shan`t argue anymore, Shall spend this last week of the Holidays fruitfully and stressed-free!!!
*Le Freedom de Mana*

::Reflections Dedicated to my Beloved Dog::
Shadow

Hmm... I know y`all folks will think why am I doing this but it seems logical for me to clarify matters and express my heartfelt love for this beautiful animal who had been by my side for years, he is Shadow. Folks kept asking me why I did not cry for him, as crying is a form of consoling, of pouring out my sadness, but I chose and vowed never to cry for my dearly departed loved ones, no matter how painful it is. I know, as a male, I can not cry, but it is not because of this reason that I kept myself from crying, neither is it because of my ex-religion, which is Buddhism. I am a pagan, and everytime I said it with pride! Back to the topic: The reason is simple, I do not want to make Shadow feel sad, for he won`t be happy in his afterlife. Yup, that is what I really felt, it is by choice, not by centuries of dominations by my species. Shadow, ever since 1997, you have been part of our family for years, bringing joy, satisfaction and fond memories to us. For when we are sad, your barking gave us consolation, when we are happy, you brought us even more. I know I know, I miss you too. But life must carry on as usual, though you will forever be in our hearts. I hope your next life be filled with everlasting love and protection, this is from yours and only, sincere best friend, (signed)Jack.A.

Hhmm....its the holidays and i`m bored, so bored i am ready to ask anyone out, includin my dog! Anyway, yesterday went to a concert, its organised by my school, but was held in Victoria Concert Hall, name of concert? Its >>:Montage:<<, wat a "grand" name to begin with, the performance actually was kinda moderate, i dun really like it, it aint astounding as it sounds...even my friend thought its crap and halfway through the concert some 1/4 of the audience left! its funny but true! I dun think they should organise another one, it will disgrace me...hahahaa~! But yeah, its kinda fun though....Hhmm...i just couldn`t fathom the fact that some "encore" were actually planned! The audience seem to be forced into it, doesn`t it just sound so ironic? Anyway, i just dun wanna have anything to do with this school except for some of the teachers there!

>:Confessions:<
I am beginning to feel that life isnt all it seems, like i was from another planet, people simply just doesn`t understand me, i know i know, its a phase in growing up, but it is obvious teenage confusion have nothing to do with my predeciment. It could be my over-active imagination, it could be my supernatural abilities, it coul be anything, i am supposed to be someone with no worries, with nothing to do coz i have backups, but i am sinking into a reality adults often suffer from, can i not close one eye to whatever is or was going on? Coz once I have blinked an eye, reality sets upon me, of all that catching up i should do! Why am i questioning life? Why am i doubting every friend and everything i know? I have been finding a solution. Yes, indeed i have found solace in my religion, Asatru. But i can`t find answers sometimes! I kept trying to find out more about myself using quizzes and tests, but then, they just kept coming back with incomplete results, or new questions! Is life all that it seems, i often ask myself. But at last, everything just came to a nought. I hope my QUEST for KNOWLEDGE and ANSWERS will not bother my studies, that`s all i ask for, and which i want! Thanks to the people who cares about me, but please understand me first! Thank you

HHmmm....i`ve not been updating for over a month!!! Well, guess its time to let out important shits about my life now!
25th May 2004:I went out with my favourite 'Gothic Crazy' friend to Kinokuniya (Takashimaya) to look for some books and browse it over, Overall, the books are about Gothic Lolitas, and they are so unique and sooo original! I am indeed proud of this friend! Anyway, We then went to Bugis Junction to look for more books in Kinokuniya! I then went home to prepare for the concert i have been waiting for; The Black Eyed Peas Live in Singapore Concert! I went to the Singapore Indoor stadium at about 7:15pm and waited for one hour and the emcees came to introduce the local talents(*groan*), after that, about one hour later, the Black Eyed Peas finally stormed into the indoor stadium with a few of their tunes from Elephunk, Stacey "Fergie" Ferguson danced with her sexy body, gyrating to the beats and with her powerful vocals, enticed us, the audience, to stand up and wave and jump and danced, with Will.i.am, Taboo, Apl.de.ap, they are all just too cool! Black Eyed Peas then proceeded to battle each other with a rap session! Damn Phatz!! I was definitely enjoying myself, sweatin but still full of energy, danced and jump till i drop. I took some pictures of them, they then ended with "Where is the Love?"...I absolutely enjoyed the concert and will never forget such stuffs!!! Woohoo! I shall end here, Cya, peace out....

okokz, i`ll summarise everything over the past weeks, I was kinda lazy to do the blog so i guess the results are here, lol, anyway, last week there`s alot of shit, lol, last friday i went to gym for the first time in a year and i was like aching all over!! Then i went into the sauna and steam room, but i cant differentiate between the two, and while in the steam room, i chatted with an American, nice chat and after that showered.....hhmmm.... yesterday didnt talk to Ilario for the whole day!!! Was angry when hundreds of insults lashed at me on tuesday! Anyway, now i know so many people hated me, i guessed there is no point in living rite? Should consider suicide......haizz...nvm, i guess i shall stop here! Cya!!! Mahalo, Aloha!!! Auf wiedersehen!!!

Hhhmm...okok, i hasnt been updating this blog for a week! I`m kinda busy these few days, but in reality, i think i am actually lazy to write! LOL!! Nothing amusing happened this week anyway......few exceptions is the class test, my friend`s b`dae bbq so enjoyable, Saw dope bgirls in Floor Skillz, she did a flip! I assure ye most gals dun dare do it, but actually i am not discriminating, Bouts of confusion suddenly came about on Wednesday, weird...anyway, enjoy yer weekend! Cya, peace......


You are Spearmint.
You are quick-witted and sharp. You pay close
attention to details and you can tell what your
friends are feeling. You are always the first
to understand a joke and you are valued for
your insight and advice. However, you
sometimes isolate yourself from other people,
afraid to share your own feelings.
Most Compatible With: Cinnamon


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmm...today`s a wierd day, nothing to do, boring, *sigh*...anyway, later going to watch the Floor Skillz Competition at Takashimaya, the host website is 3 Barz , hehe~! That i guess will be fun! there`s nothing more to say besides the fact the ASATRU is a religion I have grown to like and love, they have this phatz Nine Noble virtues! Heheh~! Only thing is whether i have the dedication and determination to carry on their tradition! okz Volks, cya, peace.....

Your wings are DRAGON wings. Massive and
covered in scales, they shimmer with strength
and magic. They are the most obvious display of
your power - though it runs equally throughout
your heart and mind. You are uncompromising and
grave, with a profound sense of justice. You
have firm ideas about what is right and what is
wrong and set out to fix what problems you can.
You realize that you are more capable of
dealing with life and evil than most, and as
such you see it as your responsibility to
protect those who cannot defend themselves. You
have existed since antiquity and as such you
are wise far beyond your years in this
lifetime. While you strive for fairness and
peace, if someone should steal from your cave
of treasure (though not all that glitters is
gold) or compromise the happiness of you or one
who is close to you - they have signed their
death warrant. You have a mighty vengeance and
will unleash it upon such people immediately
and mercilessly. Arguing with you is
useless...you rarely back down and are known
for holding firm in your beliefs. Sometimes you
feel intensely burdened with the troubles of
others...acting as a Guardian can get so
wearisome. But you never give up...you see it
as your life's mission. Often very introverted,
you can be so smart...it's scary. Such a
combination of intelligence, creativity, power,
beauty, and magic is often intimidating to
those around you - who are also unlikely to
understand you. Arrogant, proud, overserious,
and sometimes a bit greedy or obsessed with
whatever treasure you choose to pursue...you
have enchanted people for centuries, and will
continue to do so.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla


Wow! Done a quiz, its kinda funny, coz it seems so right! I have DRAGON WINGS, hehehehee~!
--->17/03/2004<---
Woke up, prepared to go for my Energy Conservation Course, it actually was kinda interesting, the fact that ye can save electricity to save the natural resources, but actually all these was kinda basic! After the course, I`ve got a meeting with my friends for our Entrepreneurship Club, its kinda boring, but I`ve had so much fun there! LOL! okz, then after the meeting, i prepared to go for my breaking session, it was kinda fun, Jordan, Kok, Sampeck, Tosh, Dax, Kenn, Nick, Dom and Amelia, it was fun, Saw some dope moves and stuffs, saw a young boy doing a windmill! Phatz! lol! After session, went to 7eleven, then we proceeded to go home....watched Buffy, sleep..zzZZZ!!
-------->End of Blogging as at 17 March 2004<--------
ookz, i`ll continue today`s blog later! watch out for updates!

I guess i`m a loser(puts L-shape hand on forehead)...*sigh*...yestersday breaking was kinda pleasant..hehe~! fear of falling on my back is something like vanished!!! Hahahaha~! oops kinda self-centered but sometimes i felt being alone would be good, but yet i thought i really need friends...*sigh* so bother-some......anyway, trip to Japan was great!! Got alot of insight...!!! Aahh, lazy to write, okok! Cya all peace out....